a) Relevant NLP Presuppositions
NLP offers a number of key presuppositions – guiding principles – relevant to Rapport Building and communication.
Respect for the other person’s model of the world. In order to influence your colleagues, you do not have to believe what they believe. It is not your responsibility to change their model of the world through an attempt to convince them of yours. When you respect a colleague, and build Rapport with them, they will like you because you remind them of themselves, and then you will be able to influence them.
The meaning and outcome of communication is in the response you get. We are taught that by clearly communicating our thoughts and feelings through words, that another person should understand our meaning. Whereas in fact a colleague will respond to what they think you said. You can determine how effectively you are communicating by the response you get from the colleague you are communicating with. When you accept this presupposition you are able to take 100% responsibility for all of your communication.
There are no resistant people, only inflexible communicators. When you encounter resistance – perhaps one of your colleagues does not support one of your ideas – their resistance is a sign that you are not in Rapport with them. This is an indication that you need to be even more flexible in your communication in order to build rapport with this particular colleague.
The person with the most flexibility will have the most influence of the system. This is the Law of Requisite Variety. This broadly translates as – the person in a workplace setting who has the ability to build Rapport with the most people, their colleagues, will have the most influence in that workplace. This person will not necessarily be in a managerial position.