Session 4: How to Structure your First Appointment with a Client

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You can listen to Pam’s presentation of the session by clicking on play below. 

You can either follow the text in the PDF, or you can follow the Session by scrolling down the page.

Session 4 PDF (opens in new window)

 

1) Balance Wheel

a) Seeing the centre of the wheel as 0, and the outer edge as 10, please rank your level of satisfaction with each area of your life and draw a new outer edge. The objective is to illustrate how bumpy your ride would be if this were a real wheel.

BalanceWheelImage

 b) Referring to your Balance Wheel, please answer the following questions:

  • What did you notice from the wheel?
  • How fulfilled is your life right now?
  • So where are you out of balance?
  • What do you want to change?
  • How satisfied are with your current state of balance?
  • How do you prioritise these wedges?
  • How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges?
  • Which of these wedges requires immediate attention?
  • What actions could improve some of the scores?
  • How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance?
  • If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different?
  • How would it enhance what is going on in your life?
  • Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)?
  • Is there anything you can add?

 

2) Values

Create a list of your Values by answering the questions and thinking about the ideas below:

ValuesExerciseImage

 

3) Unique Abilities

Start making a list of all the life skills that you possess.

Next, look at the list provided on the next page. Notice any abilities that you might have overlooked. Choose ten to fifteen words from the list that stand out as your unique abilities.

UniqueAbilitiesImage

 

4) Introductory Questions

Please answer the following questions:

1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break!

2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?

3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?

4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?

5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?

6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off?

7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?

8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?

9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?

10. What will it be like when you catch the wave?

11. What are you tolerating?

12. What do you want more of in your life?

13. What don’t you want more of?

14. What do you want less of?

15. What don’t you want less of?

 

 5) Primary Focus

Please identify the areas that you would want held as your main focus if you were a client.

1)      
2)      
3)      
4)      

 

You can listen to a demonstration of an Intake Session (Pam coaching Heather Pardon) by clicking on play below. 

 

AssignmentRed

Please ensure that you have read Pages 18 – 34 and have listened to the MP3 recordings and then complete the Intake Session exercises above. Please then post your completed work in the Comment box at the bottom of this page. We recommend that you complete your work in a Word Document so that you have your own copy. Thank you!

19 Comments

  1. 1a
    Looking at my completed Balance wheel, I get a clear picture of what my goals need to be now. That allows me to take action and in my understanding, that is the essence of coaching- to allow us to recognise what we want and need from life, and how to get there. My friends and family, Love and romance and Personal growth ar every strong 9s. Health and fitness and Physical environment are 8s and Fun and recreation- a very strong 7. However, Career and Money are not where I would like them to be. This is not new to me, hence why I am in the process of retraining and changing careers. But seeing it on paper helps me focus on my goals and it allows me to monitor any changes in those areas of my life.

    1b
    • My wheel is not that bad, it makes me appreciate all the good in my life and therefore be more positive that I can change the not so good.
    • I am fairly satisfied with all the other parts of my balance wheel.
    • Something I am working on and slowly changing at the moment is career and money.
    • Complete my degree and change my career path.
    • Fairly happy.
    • Family and Health are most important to me. All else can be worked on.
    • Life will be easier and more satisfying with 100% in all wedges but that’s a little unrealistic for anyone.
    • Career (completing my degree)
    • Find a balance between my studying and times for fun
    • It will be more satisfying
    • Life would be easier
    • It will allow me to help other people I care about
    • As mentioned above, Health and Family come first. With family support and health, I am capable of achieving anything I want.
    • The balance wheel seems a great way to evaluate your life and present and help you focus on the things you want to change.

    2
    What is important to you? – Family, our health and friends.
    What do you care about?- Making my family happy and spending quality time with them.
    What do you want in your life?- enough funds to live comfortably and make people close to me happy and a career that is rewarding.

    Peak experiences:
    It was the birth of my daughter. Suddenly, my life had purpose. I felt happy and content. The most important values in my life are to do with family. And that was the start of mine. It gave me strength to aim high so I can give this girl the best life possible. It was important to stay safe and healthy so I can be there for her.

    Crazies:
    Lies make me angry. I find it hard to forgive and move on. I hate having anger locked inside me as it’s unhealthy. But once my trust is gone, it’s gone.

    Invisible Values:
    My ambitious character.

    3
    Some of my unique abilities are my enthusiasm and excitement about life and all the possibilities out there. My loyalty to family and friends. My commitment to anything I set my mind on. My energy and constant curiosity. My planning and organising skills. My empathy. And of course, my authentic Balkan personality. We are all unique and special.

    4
    1. I would get involved with mental health charities rather than worry about what job brings in the cash.
    2. Go on a long distance flight holiday.
    3. Passing exams.
    4. Start my own business.
    5. Finish my degree, start a better paid job, spend more time with my family.
    6. Find a job I love.
    7. A healthy happy family, a degree in counselling, a well paid part time job in as a counsellor that allows me to spend time with my loved ones.
    8. A braver and more assertive me.
    9. Health for me and my family
    10. Exciting.
    11. A job I don’t enjoy.
    12. Family time.
    13. Physical objects
    14. Money worries
    15. Love

    5
    1 Study
    2 Job search
    3 Family time
    4 Fitness

  2. Hi Pam,

    Here is assignment 4.

    The wheel has shown me that I am very fulfilled in my relationships but my personal life e.g. career, fitness and personal growth really need attending to so the wheel was very unbalanced and rocky. The questions showed that if I became fitter I would have more energy to for fun and recreation and personal growth and so fitness is a very important area for me.

    I found the core values exercise extremely interesting as it has shown me that I am very bored. I have good friends and a lovely family but I am bored with other aspects of my life and so am tending to procrastinate and make lots of excuses not to do anything. I am definitely ‘stuck in a rut’.

    The introductory questions showed me that I really want art to be a larger part of my life and that I want, more than anything to be an artist but it also showed me that I need to be successful as I respond dramatically to success and failure and am quite a perfectionist.

    My abilities list was actually quite long but mostly words like friendly, trustworthy, faithful, independent etc. but I am also very creative and artistic and would love to make art my career.

    My primary focuses are going to be:

    1. To get fit and healthy as I think this will give me the energy to do other things.

    2. To stop watching so much T.V and get off the couch.

    3. To sketch every day.

    4. To keep a journal.

    I have really enjoyed doing this exercise and am going to aim to work on my main focuses.

    Regards

  3. What did you notice from the wheel?
    Items around my family life are more positive and secure

    How fulfilled is your life right now?
    I’m happier now than ever before on a personal level

    So where are you out of balance?
    Professionally things are out of balance

    What do you want to change?
    Focus and income

    How satisfied are with your current state of balance?
    Not very satisfied at all, but not surprised

    How do you prioritise these wedges?
    My main focus is always my family and their needs before mine, but I need to work harder on more fruitful projects in between

    How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges?
    Immense happiness and security with freedom to explore more personal development

    Which of these wedges requires immediate attention?
    Career and Personal Development

    What actions could improve some of the scores?
    Remain focussed day to day. With a practical plan of action

    How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance?
    If career changed for the better, naturally ‘Money’ and ‘Personal Growth’ would develop also

    If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different?
    Happier in what I do day to day, with more money it would be easier to be more flexible also

    How would it enhance what is going on in your life?
    Added security

    Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)?
    Career

    Is there anything you can add?

    3) Unique Abilities
    Start making a list of all the life skills that you possess.
    Passionate, Courageous, Generous, Understanding, Thoughtful, Considerate, Self-Confident, Sincere, Facilitates, Open-minded
    Next, look at the list provided on the next page. Notice any abilities that you might have overlooked. Choose ten to fifteen words from the list that stand out as your unique abilities.

    CURIOUS / DYNAMIC / EFFECTIVE / ENGAGING / EXPRESSIVE / LEADER / LISTENS / LEARNS NATURALLY / MANAGER / NETWORK-BUILDER / POLITE / PRACTICAL / PRESENTS SELF WELL / PUNCTUAL / WILLING

    4) Introductory Questions
    Please answer the following questions:
    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break!
    I WOULD INVEST IT WITH COLLEAGUES IN PROPERTY
    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?
    PROPERTY CONSORTIUM
    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    MY OWN BUSINESS, MY FAMILY, NEW HOME
    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    TV/MOVIE WORK / POLITICS
    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?
    MY OWN BUSINESS INCOME, GROWTH, HEALTHY FAMILY
    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off?
    TV/MOVIE WORK / POLITICS
    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?
    ENOUGH MONEY TO PROVIDE THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE, LIMITED STRESS, PERSONAL GROWTH
    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?
    MORE COURAGEOUS / MORE DRIVEN / STRONGER WORK ETHIC
    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?
    A STRONG AND POSITIVE CAREER PATH
    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave?
    EPIC
    11. What are you tolerating?
    WORKING WITH SMALL COMPANIES WITH LIMITED RESOURCES HOLDING ME BACK
    12. What do you want more of in your life?
    CAREER AND DEVELOPMENT
    13. What don’t you want more of?
    STRAIN AND HEARTACHE
    14. What do you want less of?
    STRESS
    15. What don’t you want less of?
    NEW CLIENTS

    5) Primary Focus
    Please identify the areas that you would want held as your main focus if you were a client.
    1) HELP BUILDING NEW BUSINESS
    2) GATHERING RESOURCE AND DEVELOPING
    3) CHANGE OF ETHICS
    4) GOAL FOCUSSED

  4. Assigment 4
    • What did you notice from the wheel?
    I have lots of work to do to achieve full potential , particular in the career/money area
    • How fulfilled is your life right now?
    ¾ quarters fulfilled . Still room to improve
    • So where are you out of balance?
    • Im out of balance on the Career/money and love and relationship areas
    • What do you want to change?
    • I want to change my relationship and also my work
    • How satisfied are with your current state of balance?
    • Semi satisfied
    • How do you prioritise these wedges?
    • I would see Friends and Family as no 1 then
    • Health and Fitness
    • Fun Recreation
    • Love and Romance
    • Personal growth
    • Money
    • Physical Environment
    • Career

    • How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges?
    • Overflowing with joy and contentment
    • Which of these wedges requires immediate attention?
    • Money , which obviously means career also .
    • What actions could improve some of the scores?
    • Decide new area of work , and upskill if necessary which will impact on Career and Money. Make changes in Relationship area
    • How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance?
    • My life would be more satisfying , and more relaxed
    • If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different?
    • If I had a fulfilling career with more money, I would be happier and it would allow me to make changes in other areeas like fun and recreation and also in personal growth
    • How would it enhance what is going on in your life?
    • It would give me more self-satisfaction to know I was working at something where I made a difference, and if Im happier then all around me will be happier
    • Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)?
    • Money
    • Is there anything you can add?
    • Money feeds into lot of the wedges, career , physical environment, fun, health etc

    2) Values
    Create a list of your Values by answering the questions and thinking about the ideas below:
    Family is most important to me
    Keeping my family happy and healthy
    Peace and happiness
    Peak Experiences
    I was honouring the value of doing what I wanted to do , and also of being brave and fearless
    .
    Crazies
    Bad manners makes me angry and frustrated. The value of respect is being stepped on and violated. I cant live with disrespectful people
    Invisible Values
    Intuition

    3) Unique Abilities
    Determination Good at networking
    Strength Warm and friendly
    Flexibility Adaptable Open minded
    Hard Working Self reliant Financially Independent
    • Resourceful Independent
    • Loyal , interested, listens, empathic, punctual , skilful, strong, spontaneous, trustworthy

    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break!. I would leave my 9-5 job and retrain in another area Im interested in. I would also make changes in my personal life
    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?
    Write a book
    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    Travelling and working in other countries has given my greatest feelings of achievement
    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    Set up an organization to support homeless people and women and children who have suffered
    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?
    Seeing my children through school, and sorted career wise
    Becoming healthier,
    Changing my personal life
    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off?
    Nothing I can think of
    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?
    I would feel consistent happiness and joy with my life and all things in it ,. I would be relaxed and stress free
    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?
    I need to be a more selfish person and think more of myself and what I want and not of others and what they want . I need to be more courageous and fearless
    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?
    Health and happiness for my family
    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave?
    Exhilarating
    11. What are you tolerating?
    Bad manners and bad behaviour
    12. What do you want more of in your life?
    joy and peace
    13. What don’t you want more of?
    Stress and tears
    14. What do you want less of?
    Anxiety and worry
    15. What don’t you want less of?
    Time with my children, pleasure
    5) Primary Focus
    1) Work/career changes
    2) Health life changes
    3) Relationship/love
    3) Living life to the full

  5. 1a)Wheel completed- good visual activity.
    1b) I noticed from the wheel that that things i thought i was content with still needed improving.
    apart from my health an possibly my money situation then most of my life is pretty good.
    I’m mostly out of balance on the money and health and fitness sections of the wheel. I think for me to change these areas i need to possibly look at changing jobs which will be more fulfilling along with being more active and being confident about this.
    I’m satisfied with most of my wheel apart from the above mentioned.
    How do you prioritize these wedges?I guess i could prioritize these wedges by enabling myself to seek other job alternatives that could combine being more active.
    How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges? I think my life would be very different if all my wedges were at 100% as money wouldn’t be a worry, I’d be fitter and healthier with less concern for my well-being. health and fitness needs immediate attention. A change of lifestyle and a change in job could improve both scores.
    Massive improvements would take place of i changed my current job which would benefit all aspects.
    I would feel more fulfilled if this wedge was the right size. It would provide better mental health and well-being.
    the money wedge has the biggest leverage.

    2)Values- loyalty and trust is important to me. i care about my family, friends and work. I would like a better work/life balance.

    Arrogant domineering people make me angry and frustrated. I guess people who have these qualities appear to be less trustworthy as they can come across as selfish and untrustworthy.

    3) Unique Abilities
    good communicator, Kind, Generous, trustworthy, compassionate, attentive, good sense of humour,
    (missed abilities that I’d like to add- tidy, supportive, strong, sincere, resourceful, punctual, polite, organised, faithful, Emphatic, creative,

    4)1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break! I would leave my current employer and take a few unhappy friends with me, Start up my own Counselling business and be my own boss!

    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt? Ive always wanted to travel, but been too scared of the adventure.

    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement? my education has given me my best feeling of achievement as i was always made to feel stupid early on in life.

    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail? on a less serious note Id chat someone up, its always been a failure in the past. Alternatively i would apply for jobs that id like to work in.

    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now? change job, become healthier, and feel fulfulled.

    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off? Be healthier is something ive put off and made an excuse about.

    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like? bloody fantastic! I’d be alot happier, more confident and less anxious.

    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want? more confident and believe in my self.

    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for? to bring back loved ones ive lost.

    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave? overwhelming.

    11. What are you tolerating? my current employer!

    12. What do you want more of in your life? flexibility.

    13. What don’t you want more of? flexibility to do other things in life.

    14. What do you want less of? stress

    15. What don’t you want less of? love and affection.

    5) Primary Focus
    1) Work change
    2) Healthier life
    3) Money concerns
    3) being more adventurous.

  6. b) Referring to your Balance Wheel, please answer the following questions:
    1) What did you notice from the wheel?
    I noticed that my wheel is extremely uneven.
    2) How fulfilled is your life right now?
    My life is not fulfilled whatsoever in many wedges; no wedge completes the full wedge.
    3) So where are you out of balance?
    I am out of balance primarily in health and fitness, fun and recreation and love.
    4) What do you want to change?
    How unbalanced my life is and the areas I neglect.
    5) How satisfied are with your current state of balance?
    I am not satisfied; I need to work a lot harder.
    6) How do you prioritise these wedges?
    Health and fitness, friends and family, personal growth, career, fun and recreation, physical environment, love and romance and money.
    7) How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges?
    I believe I would be a much happier and more productive person.
    8) Which of these wedges requires immediate attention?
    The health and fitness wedge.
    9) What actions could improve some of the scores?
    By being more proactive in striving for better for myself.
    10) How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance?
    Any change that would give more balance would make me happier and would motivate me to make more changes.
    11) If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different?
    I’d enjoy myself more and would have stronger relationships with those around me.
    12) How would it enhance what is going on in your life?
    I would get more out of my college years and would have more opportunities opened to me.
    13) Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)?
    It would be a tie between health and fitness and personal growth. The former and the latter would have a beneficial domino effect on all areas of my life, giving me more confidence, energy and perspective.

    2) Values:
    Peak experiences- I would have to say one of the moments I felt most accomplished was the moment I found out that I got my course in Trinity College. The moment was particularly great because firstly I didn’t expect it (at all) and secondly I felt that all the nights of staying working were worth it. It gave me such a boost. I felt that the value I place on hard work and dedication had paid off. I tend to be a worrier and usually believe I have done a lot worse academically then I actually have in reality so it was nice to be wrong, I was actually anticipating having to re-sit my leaving cert and had done my research into how to go about doing that.
    Crazies- Something that infuriates me is double-standards and lies, especially from those you care about. I know this is a situation all people dislike but personally my tolerance for it has become increasingly non-existence. It goes against trust, loyalty and everything correlated with friendship. I can’t give people who act in this manner any time when they will not even admit their mistake. The self-absorption of some individuals drives me crazy and completely baffles me.
    Invisible Values- I value my family and those I care about more than anything. The selflessness alone is amazing to behold, especially reflecting on my childhood and even to this day. No level of respect or appreciation placed on my family will ever be enough as without them I would be nowhere.

    3) Unique Abilities:
    My unique abilities include being accountable to myself and setting high standards to reach, being practical and methodical, being able to take myself out of a situation to see the overall point and being able to forgive.
    From the list- Calm, polite, ethical, self-reliant, sincere, spiritual, peaceful, understanding, stable, attentive to details, independent, compassionate and faithful.

    4) Introductory Questions:
    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break!
    I would travel the world and experience things that I would never have the opportunity to experience otherwise. I would also like to make donations to charities that particularly touch me. My family also would be getting a large lump sum as thank you for all their support
    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?
    I think I have always been afraid to put myself out there, to really just let go and to enjoy myself without constantly second-guessing myself.
    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    Past-examinations, achieving employment and working as a child-minder. Spending time with a baby and watching its growth and being involved in that process is amazing.
    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    I would probably research the cure to cancer or other terminal diseases.
    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?
    Firstly to do well in university, secondly to become healthier and thirdly to take more pride in myself as a person.
    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off?
    My one thing is to get healthier.
    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?
    I would be surrounded by happy friends and family, live comfortably as would those around me and I would be happy and healthy, taking proper care of myself emotionally, mentally and physically.
    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?
    I would need to find a good solid career path upon completion of university and to prioritise myself more.
    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?
    I would wish to be happy.
    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave?
    I am not sure what this question means.
    11. What are you tolerating?
    I am tolerating being second best and going unnoticed in many situations.
    12. What do you want more of in your life?
    I want more fun!
    13. What don’t you want more of?
    I don’t want more overthinking and self-analysing.
    14. What do you want less of?
    People who are negative.
    15. What don’t you want less of?
    My family.

    5) Primary Focus:
    Outcome- I have a good fitness routine and diet in place.
    Ongoing evidence- I keep up regular appointments with a trainer/nutritionist and am becoming slimmer and fitter.
    Final Evidence- I look better and feel more energetic.

    Outcome- I stand up for myself.
    Ongoing evidence- In situations where I would normally cave and be walked over I would remain firm in my opinion.
    Final Evidence- I do not feel belittled or taken advantage of, have more pride in myself as a person.

    Outcome- I become better equipped to deal with stress.
    Ongoing evidence- I have coping mechanisms in place to help me combat stressful situations and see the brighter side of these situations.
    Final Evidence- I am happier and less likely to feel overwhelmed.

    Outcome- I learn self-discipline and self-control.
    Ongoing evidence- I have small tasks in place that I must complete while remaining true to my goal and I have new mental tools to draw on to motivate me.
    Final evidence- I am able to stick to a task I set myself.

  7. Balance Wheel –

    A) 1) Physical Environment – rated 6 as changes need to occur in order to enhance other areas such as where I currently reside.

    2) Career – rated 4 as fundamental changes need to be addressed here in order to benefit other areas.

    3) Money – rated 4 as current position is dependent on career performance and management.

    4) Health and Fitness – rated 7 as other obstacles continue to be an influence on current health and performance.

    5) Friends and Family – rated 6 as friends including close, colleagues, acquaintances and partners need to be followed up to renew connection whereas family including immediate, extended and in-laws constantly need stimulating connection.

    6) Love and Romance – rated 6 as this being relatively new needs more exploration and time to discover one another ineptly to further existing relationship.

    7) Personal Growth – rated 4 is directly related to 2 and primarily consists of education and a continued development of knowledge.

    8) Fun and Recreation – rated 8 which involves a multitude of activities and relaxation techniques which needs to be constructed in to a daily routine to ensure adequate time is sufficiently spent wisely.

    B) 1) I noticed that career and money appear to be closely linked and that personal growth was also a driving factor that influences these areas.

    2) Overall I would say that I’m satisfied to a certain degree but dissatisfied enough to continue to pursue goals and aspirations.

    3) Career and money show that I am off balance with personal growth also being affected as a result.

    4) I want to further my career and make more money but in order to do this I will need to focus on personal growth such as education by way of studying for a masters degree.

    5) Overall I would say I would be happy to a point of 5 out of 10 – there are significant improvements I can make to enhance other areas to support me more where I need to focus my main attentions.

    6) Currently, I have be tending several areas of my wedges as the need arises which has not been very productive so I will need to focus on a plan of action to address the issues more effectively.

    7) If all wedges were at peak then I would imagine I would be in a stable routine with significant time to dedicate to the more pressing issues that arise and I would have achieved the standard I set for each wedge.

    8) Personal growth needs immediate attention in the form of education through various courses and university to obtain a master’s degree related to my current profession.

    9) In order to improve present scores in wedges, I need to design a timetable to capture all elements of the wedges such as recreation/fun, love/romance, ample time for study and education followed by family and work commitments.

    10) If I changed how I used my time more effectively, this would allow me to work on other areas of my life than is suffering as outlined in the wedges.

    11) I would have the necessary resources and skill to further my career in the direction I want which will greatly improve my existing income and give me balance to perform and enhance the other wedges.

    12) It would allow me to up-skill and move forward in my career while benefiting monetarily from this.

    13) Personal growth holds the most leverage for me in my current situation.

    14) I can add enthusiasm and positivity to everything that I do and to limit the amount of time with non-productive people.

    Values –

    I value, care and consider important, knowledge, family, wealth, friends and people.

    I felt amazing when I was able to upgrade my image in my lifestyle earlier this year. It felt satisfying on all levels and having more access to money allowed me to do this.

    I get very annoyed when people disrespect me, use me, don’t support my ideas and initiatives then use my ideas for their own benefit.

    My sense of honesty, integrity, humour and spirituality are my invisible qualities.

    C) Unique Abilities –

    Decisive, accountable, responsible, assertive, compassionate, diplomatic, amicable, knowledgeable, problem solver, analyst, innovative, ethical, leader, optimistic, dynamic, energetic, organised, trusting, resourceful and inspirational.

    4) Introductory Questions –

    1) I would begin my own business and invest in the family business while also following other pursuits.

    2) I would love to learn to fly a small plane or helicopter.

    3) I experience feelings of achievement after I have completed a long laborious project or when I win something difficult.

    4) Complete masters, set up my own business and be an avid flyer/pilot.

    5) Education, Family and wellbeing.

    6) I want to go on an extended holiday to America and experience driving across many northern and southern states.

    7) Amazing, as I would be masterful in all areas that I wish to excel and would be able to operate to full capacity.

    8) I need to be studious, consistent, focused, determined, open to alternative options and balanced.

    9) For all that my heart and soul desires to be fulfilled.

    10) I imagine I will be exhilarating and highly satisfying.

    11) I’m tolerating my current situation and the people in my working environment.

    12) More fun, money and freedom to do the things that make me happy and to allow me greater control over my dreams.

    13) I could do without unnecessary requests and obligations infringing on my personal time and be more selective about who I spend time with in my personal life.

    14) I want less demands on my personal time.

    15) I don’t want less resources as this would damage my capacity to reach my goals.

    Primary Focus –

    1) Personal growth – various forms of education

    2) Money and career – increase earning power and strengthen career

    3) Love and romance ­- Commitment to one special person that can share my life.

    4) Physical Environment – Change current residence to a bigger estate.

  8. b) Referring to your Balance Wheel, please answer the following questions:
    1.
    I noticed from my wheel that if that would be a real wheel it would be a very bumpy ride;)) And more serious it shows me where i need to improve to make my life more balanced and enjoyable.
    2.
    It is very good in personal growth and health and fitness area
    3.
    but need action in fun and recreation as well friends and family and unfortunately money and career needs to be look at closely.
    4. i want to change my job this year and start my own business.
    5.
    I can say i did improve a lot in the past year but i still see a lot of work to be done in the coming months.
    6.
    Firstly would like to spend more time with friends and family and focus on my new career.
    7.
    I would feel content. I would laugh more and feel more secure.
    8.
    Career and family
    9.
    Be more organised and do more work related to my own business.
    10.
    Once i will be up and running with my business that will improve my confidence and make me happy to take more challenges in life.
    11.
    It would make a big difference and allowed me to live the life of my dreams.
    12.
    It would give me more stability and security.
    13.
    Health and fitness and personal growth are scored the highest and are very important but career and money are scored the lowest and are also very important to give me more balance in my life.
    c)Values;
    Accountable
    Appropriate
    Attentive to details
    Authentic
    Calm
    Committed
    Creative
    Easy going
    Flexible
    Generous
    Independent
    Joyful
    Listens
    Loyal
    Open minded
    Polite
    Responsible
    Sensual
    Supportive
    Trustful
    4) Introductory Questions
    1. Travel, open charity, work from home
    2. Public speaking
    3. Study, i manage to overcome the nasty illness and back to health
    4. Open charity, start my business, get merried;0)
    5. My own family, career(my own business) and health
    6. My own business
    7. Surrounded by my close family, husband and kids (plus foster kids) all happy living in health
    8. My own boss and i need to become a mother to fulfil my dreams.
    9. I would ask for health for me and my family
    10. I will stay on the way until achieved what i ve planned.
    11. Unhappy people that use my energy
    12. Want more love and successful business
    13. Procrastination and limited believes
    14. Less job that don’t give me financial stability
    15. work

  9. b) Referring to your Balance Wheel, please answer the following questions:

    What did you notice from the wheel? There is a lot of room for improvement in my life.
    How fulfilled is your life right now? Less fulfilled than I would like it to be.
    So where are you out of balance? Career, health, love and romance.
    What do you want to change? I would like to start by taking more time to improve my health.
    How satisfied are with your current state of balance? Not as satisfied as I would like to be.
    How do you prioritise these wedges? I think health and career should be prioritised before all others.
    How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges? I would be happier, healthier with more energy.
    Which of these wedges requires immediate attention? Health and fitness.
    What actions could improve some of the scores? Eating more healthily, taking time out to chill, getting more fresh air.
    How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance? More fulfilling.
    If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different? I imagine I would be happier and more fulfilled.
    How would it enhance what is going on in your life? Make life easier.
    Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)? Career as we spend so much of our time on this.
    Is there anything you can add?

    2) Values
    Create a list of your Values by answering the questions and thinking about the ideas below:

    ValuesExerciseImage

    That I live the best life that I can and be the best person that I can; that I find my purpose in life; kindness and compassion in myself and others.

    I care about people, particularly those that are disadvantaged.

    I want to make a positive difference in the world; to really help a charity for example.

    Peak experiences

    When I passed my accountancy exam less than one year after having a massive stroke, which left me with short term paralysis. It was important because I didn’t give up even though many advised me to do so. It should me how determined I can be.

    When I walked across hot coals, and raised £1,500 in aid of the Irish Heart Foundation; this was inspired by my illness and brought upon me a desire to help others.

    Crazies

    I cannot bear bad manners, people who lack compassion or empathy. I hate when people constantly moan about trivial little things. People who are not genuine.

    3) Unique Abilities

    Start making a list of all the life skills that you possess.

    Organised, compassionate, empathetic, genuine, independent, brave, friendly, approachable, determined, resilient

    Next, look at the list provided on the next page. Notice any abilities that you might have overlooked. Choose ten to fifteen words from the list that stand out as your unique abilities.

    UniqueAbilitiesImage

    Appropriate, Courageous, diplomatic, faithful, inspiring to others, intelligent, listens, planner, polite, responsible, spontaneous, supportive, generous, loyal, willing

    4) Introductory Questions
    Please answer the following questions:

    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break! I would give a lot of money to charity but I would also like to help out in a hands on way that my health would permit. I would like to travel, buy a house, buy things for the people I love. Foster/ adopt. Return to study- perhaps nutrition course, some other health related course.

    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt? Public speaking.

    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement? Raising money for charity/ passing faes, passing driving test.

    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail? Anything I wanted :) Hitch hike! Set up a charitable organisation for old people/ homeless people.

    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now? Find the right career, lose weight, meet the man of my dreams

    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off? Become a teacher.

    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like? Perfect :)

    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want? More confident and take more chances.

    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for? Happiness :) To find and live my purpose in life.

    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave? Exhilarating!

    11. What are you tolerating? People who bring me down.

    12. What do you want more of in your life? Laughter & love!

    13. What don’t you want more of? Health challenges

    14. What do you want less of? Moaning, complaints

    15. What don’t you want less of? Money!

    5) Primary Focus
    Please identify the areas that you would want held as your main focus if you were a client.

    1) Lose weight, get more fresh air, feel more healthy
    2) Find the right career for me
    3) Find the right man for me

  10. career 5, money 3 health and fitness 8 family friends 8 love romance 7 personal growth 9 fun recreation 7 physical environment 10
    from the wheel i noticed how unbalanced my life is, my life is good but much room for growth, most out of balance was money and career, this is the area i need to change , i am not satisfied ,,i achieved highly on my most important being health and family,,i would be more comfortable , money and career need the most attention, by dedicating time to work followed by action, my life would be given more freedom ,less worry it would also leave me feeling more worthwhile, my life would change as i could more freely vist family ,i would feel more better as i could less burden the people i love with more cash,, the most important is family but the one that has the most effect is money,what a simple yet powerful exercise ,so revealing ,
    Assignment: Values 4,2
    1,to be capable, or give things my best not giving up easily
    2, being loyal to people ,being trustworthy
    3, to not allow fear to rule my life,
    peak experiences
    when my son was born, i was doing well at work supporting my family ,i felt that i had created a life, he was healthy beautiful , it was very empowering knowing i could take care of my family,the value i was honouring was being a man full of hope excitement ,
    crazies , when people are being mindless lazy, it affects me my time, and shows little respect for me, i can’t live with rude people,and will avoid them rather than getting into arguments ,so i keep the decision on how i react,
    being a hard worker, is a invisible value

    Assignment:4,3 Unique Abilities Start making a list of all the life skills that you possess
    my skills, motivational ,hard working when focused,not giving in,honest,kind,thoughtful, helpful, a good salesman, very optimistic,love self advancement and learning new skills, ,generous, good cook,smart, have pride in myself,from the list accountable,,alert,assertive,aware,capable ,compassionate,curious, disciplined,energetic,enthusiastic,,flexible,healthy inspiring to others, interested,powerful,polite,spiritual, tactful,amazing how many things i never thought off,
    4,4 Please answer the following questions: Introductory Questions – Assignment

    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break!
    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?
    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?
    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off?
    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?
    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?
    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?
    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave?
    11. What are you tolerating?
    12. What do you want more of in your life?
    13. What don’t you want more of?
    14. What do you want less of?
    15. What don’t you want less of?
    1, i would travel more and create programs for less fortunate people,2 climb mount everest 3, gaining financial freedom,giving to my family,4,i would create a program that could take people to the next level 5,to regain financial freedom,stop smoking,get my family to thailand,6 stop smoking,7 be able to choose what i wanted,have financial freedom,be in great health,my children showing joy in there life,8,a success in business,really focused and hard working,9 not to have invested in a certain share, , 10 it will be freeing,11 other people,12 happiness 13 ill health14 worry,15 love and joy

  11. 1)To stop smoking
    2) to reduce on a daily bases,from 40 to 0 over a period of 40 days
    3)i’m a non smoker

    2) to regain health over 3mths
    to jog daly and increase each week the distance until i reach 5 miles
    reaching my target

    3) to stop getting over stressed
    be mindful when i feel stressed, relax and breath allow 10 minutes each day for meditation, delegate work, visualisation every day, cut down coffee ,take on less tasks,
    feel more relaxed andbe more productive,

    4) to lose weight my goal 15 pounds to lose in 3 mths
    to eat clean foods non fried, only snack on vegetables visualise myself as being lighter , exercise regular, be mindful of food a
    t home, when ive reached my goal,
    ass 5.1
    Developing Healthy Habits Exercise 1
    Track your own habits for a week or a month. Use a daily habits sheet and a periodic habits sheet. The periodic sheet will include things that you do regularly, but perhaps only a few times a year.

    Please reflect on and write about your findings. What do you want to do less of? What don’t you do enough of? What do you want to do more of? In short, what changes do you want to make? (250 – 500 words)
    smoking is the first habit i have tracked, i smoke 20 to 30 a day, i smoke more when im trying to quit , i awake at 6am and before exercise i smoke 2-3 with coffee until my mind has awoken , i then always do one hour of exercise,and smoke after, then coffee break i smoke, before work i smoke , every time i stop i smoke ,i tried missing the first smoke, in order to cut down, i said to myself smoke one less a day in 30 days i would be a non smoker, it did not work in a down period id smoke more again, i keep telling myself tomorrow will be different, but tomorrow just turns into another tomorrow ,my resistance is alarming as i’m the only smoker in the house ,im a bad example to my children im 53 and suffer shortness of breath, i need to get more leverage as will power is not enough, fear not enough , i feel i need to strengthen my will power with practice ,and see it has a mental exercise, has i detest weakness,
    this course i set aside 3 hours each afternoon to complete the course,i would study and restudy,each day in fully understanding the course, doing at least one segment , my habits start i will listen to a podcast, make a coffee,a smoke look at facebook, answer emails ,study the stock market, then find myself, behind my

  12. alance Wheel

    think the Balance wheel exercise if really useful tool as it visually shows you which areas of your life you would like to improve upon and is a snapshot of how you feel about all areas of your life right now. It gives you an indication of what you perceive could be better.

    I noticed that they are all pretty balanced but have room for improvement especially around my friends & family and career/money. I am in a good place at the moment and feel fulfilled in most areas of my life although I haven’t sored any 10 so there is more work to be done! From this exercise I would like to work on having better friendships and also improve my financial situation, which is getting better every month and I would like to continue doing so as a top priority as this would then allow me to buy my own house and start a family. My career is also important to me at the moment as you spend so much of your time there (making money!) and it’s important to me to feel fulfilled in it.

    Values

    The values exercise is essential, as it what is at your core and everything else in your life must be congruent with that for you to feel happy and in the flow. From this exercise I found that my values are love and friendship, compassion, fun, adventure and freedom, being of service and authenticity. The questions about when you have felt happiest and also when you have felt the craziest helped a lot! I think I would also include a list of values as an example to see what resonates with them the most.

    Unique Abilities

    This was also a good exercise to get you to think positively about the skills you process as these will be essential to help you achieving your life goals. The abilities from the list that stood out most for me are adaptable, supportive, curious, easy-going, learns naturally, good listener, optimistic, sense of humour, creative, empathetic, patient, pro-active, reliable and versatile.

    Introductory Questions

    I really enjoy answering the questions that put no limits on your dreams such as winning the lottery and never being afraid to fail! From this I learned that experiencing, learning about and seeing as much of the world and other cultures in a big things for me as I am curious and like to learn. I would love to make a difference in the world so would use money/power for that purpose and doing something that I love such as helping to conserve our planet/animals and help those who need it around the world. I’ve been happiest when I’ve been creating something and also travelling and experiencing new places and also when I’m part of a good cause, helping people. My main goal in life is to live it fully and with purpose and be and do all that I can to my fullest potential surrounded by people that I love and who love me.

    Primary Focus

    The main areas I would like to focus on are personal development, building up a business, building up new networks and friendships, building good relationship skills and also my health and fitness.

  13. 1 Balance wheel
    I noticed from looking at the balance wheel overall I’m in a good place scoring mostly 9,s . The areas I would like to address as there is an unbalance are my carer, money & personal growth , which on reflection have a connection.. I have begun to address this as I’m involved in a new business idea which excites me and if it goes according to plan the areas mentioned would move to a 9 or 10 .. It would enhance my life overall as I would have the balance of home life & work life – enjoying the drive & fun of both , making me feel happier as the sense of achievement & life’s purpose would to a goal well achieved.

    2 Values
    Important to me are-: trust, non judgemental attitude , self esteem , happiness, love, respect , genuiness, caring approach to all, honesty, ambition, low ego,
    I care deeply about other ,priority is my family, friends and others I become in connection with through my yoga teachings & my social work role.. I have a special interest in the elderly population , feeling they can be easily neglected as the population grows, family breakdown & lack of community resources to support them in the own home , or poor care standards within Private Nursing Homes through out UK ..
    I want to become involved in improving peoples overall health , through continuing my Yoga practices, through my community based social work role & moving into this new opportunity of being a care reviewer in pnh setting through a sophisticated CCTV reviewing on care being delivered within the nursing home – high lighted good practice, areas of concerns or any form of abuse .. This will create a stronger sense of transparency raising the standard of care as staff will be aware that “Big Brother ” is watching you ..
    Peak experience
    I so enjoyed preparing with friends for a charity event walking 26.2 miles commencing at midnight through the streets of Edinburgh .. We planned and hosted a charity evening to raise funds for breast cancer awareness event – £6000 .. The focus of commitment & achievement was amazing building our stamina, strength to complete the walk which I had personally set to do under 6 hours managing to complete it 5.50mins.. So my own personal achievement along with the four of us that completed it was a special time , as we negiogated our own rules ie we didn’t have to wait for each other if we had the energy & desire to split from each other through the power walk , which lead to a sense of freedom , relieve but also knowing we were there for each other in spirit.. this has shown me the value in working together yet standing alone at times is also an important value as it makes you stronger , raising confidence & value

    Over the years for various charities , Cancer research , autism ni , chest heart & stroke, Danny mills heart foundation ( a friend of my sons who died suddenly adult death aged 21) , brainwaves ni ( since my diagnosis of brain tumour which was successfully removed dec14) I have raised approx £20,000 which makes me feel I’m giving something back into our community / world – looking at the bigger picture , which make me feel whole, worthy & appreciative of all the work , care that is out there.. Bringing recognition and support to the charities of chronic , life threatening conditions that exist .. Offering support to patients and their families that government can not or do not support ….
    Crazies
    I do not value being taken for granted ,Ie Cash cow) as this can easily happen through a parenting role .. Therefore I installed in my kids a sense of appreciation, & gratitude for all the benefits they received in their childhood and early adulthood , for the many outside hobbies which cost a fortune to attend eg ballet classes from age 3-19 for our daughter , private schooling fees for our son , finacial university support for both ,regular family holidays abroad for both .. Once they hit the adult age we discussed and agreed any monies borrowed would be paid back, valuing their own hard work & need to commit to returning any monies they needed at that time.. I believe this has taught them both a valuable lesson – that money doesn’t grow on trees and there’s a need to work hard for what you want.. Not handed to you on a plate….
    Invisible value
    Ownership – the value of taking responsibility for your actions whether you make a mistake or the right decision , remaining loyal to your personal value base, adapting if necessary, reflecting & learning – keeping an open mind alongside your values in order to create positive changes..

    3 unique abilities
    Anticipate wants & needs
    Assertive
    Calm
    Capable
    Easy going
    Empowers
    Energetic+
    Loyal
    Interested
    Flexible
    Enthusiastic
    Happy
    Healthy
    Fit
    Spontaneous
    Supportive
    Trustful
    Sincere
    Reliable
    Problem solver
    Willing
    Optimistic
    Inspiring to others

    4 introductory questions
    1-I would set up a health well being healing retreat where I would pay for families to attend to receive holistic alternative treatments for their life threatening condition .. Employing the best dedicate staff to deliver the optimim care.. Along with locals on the area providing fresh local produce ( organic) employing people to run a health restaurant for the area..
    2 Being totally self emoployed doing the above
    3 Being a mum to two amazing kids now 27& 24 clare & robbie- both presently making al life for themselves working in dubai for the time being.. Raising money to help others, working as a professional social worker with stroke patients and their families, teaching yoga organising workshops & yoga retreats to Italy .
    5 To return to work post brain surgery -by oct 15
    To develop my new role within the Care Protect business
    To grow my Synergy business in Northern Irelan which is a natural food supplement that provides amazing benefits to the body . Scientifically tested & proven … Heart health, circulation, diabetes, manynother conditions plus aids athletic performance , stamina & recovery.
    4 I’d be the happiest woman alive in I didn’t fail.. Onwards & upwards
    6 Moving firm the security of the national health pay & benefits into the full time world of self employment
    7 I’d be living ? In Italy following my lottery dream with accommodation to include my elderly parents, and spare room for our children to visit…
    8 money to set up the above.. Management support to bring awareness to the project & a panel,to help decide who we could support & help…
    9 The financial support & ability to make my dream come true
    10 .. Exciting , amazing & achievable
    11 the security of my present professional job ..
    12fulfilling work , family time
    13illness
    14. Targets, budgets & and uncaring attitude from local health service
    15 – yoga, keeping fit , socialising , family time

    Primary focus
    1 – my first repeat MRI scan post craniotomy dec14 as I’m aware meningioma brain tumours although my was benign can grow again awaiting this dec15
    2- moving & developing my new role in Care Protect business
    3 continuing with my yoga, meditation & mindfulness practices to as many people as possible
    4 continuing raising monies through various events for the people of Norther Ireland ..

  14. Balance Wheel: My wheel is fairly well balanced except in 3 areas career, health & fitness and fun and recreation. The main areas I want to change is my career, hence this course and my fitness regime, currently non existent. If I fix the career wedge first, it will allow me to “fix” the other wedges.
    Values: Trust, Love, Manners, honesty, fun, and respect.
    Abilities: Accountable, adapts well, leader, honest, fun, love, communicates, creative intelligent, expressive, polite.
    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break! Resign, travel, become fit
    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt? Sell creative works
    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement? Being a mother
    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail? Give up work and move to France, run a gite
    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now? Enjoy life, finish french higher, get fit
    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off? Get fit
    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like? as i am now but slim
    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want? me
    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for? win the lottery
    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave? fun
    11. What are you tolerating? my career
    12. What do you want more of in your life? free time
    13. What don’t you want more of? work time
    14. What do you want less of? stress
    15. What don’t you want less of? my life

    If i were a client: Focus would be on how to enjoy work, its a necessity, but i want to focus on the good things and enjoy everyday despite self imposed stress. Focus two would be to lose weight and be much fitter.

  15. SESSION 4
    HOW TO STRUCTURE YOUR FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A CLIENT
    Exercise 1: Balance Wheel
    Level of satisfaction with each area of my life: Looking at my completed Balance Wheel, has enabled me to take a closer look at the areas of my life that I need to set/reset goals in. It has provided me with clarity and given a clear vision as to what I need to prioritise not only in terms of goals but also the particular areas of my life that I have neglected of late. Life as we know is about balance, yet when we don’t stop to take stock of every aspect, we can become discombobulated and wonder then why we feel out of kilter. I can see now that personal growth is so important to me that I have neglected other areas such as socialising and doing things to keep me fit and healthy. Yet if I was fitter and had more energy, I would look and feel better and in return this would motivate me to go out more and in return give myself more opportunities to meet new and interesting people.
    Exercise 2: Values
    Important to me – Family, good friends, honesty, trust, truth, integrity, loyalty, personal growth, peace of mind and unconditional love, achievement and being valued as a person and being excellent at what I do
    Things I care about – Being there for my family and friends, expanding my knowledge/skills, being true to who I am, being surrounded by family, friends/likeminded people, being open to learning life’s lessons in a way that enables me to learn and pass on this learning to help others and basically be the best I can be in all areas of my life. Having taken time out from work life, I’m now ready to go back and want to further my career, gain success laced with happiness, inner peace and contentment.

    Peak Experiences – One that comes to mind is when I was asked many years ago to become a member of the Irish consulting team working with the EU Commission, taking their management and staff through the process of change. I remember my family buying me a little Irish flag to wear on the lapel of my jacket while I worked. They were very proud and said to them I was representing my country. This was a wonderful experience and a moment I will always cherish. Even though it was quiet daunting, when I stood on the floor that first morning, I was definitely in the flow. When one of the delegates (a Director General) said at the end of the programme, that my delivery was excellent, I was a credit to my country (as he looked at my lapel) and that he would most definitely attend other programmes I would be delivering throughout the change process, I felt exhilarated. Reflecting back on that time, I was honouring many of my values, yet now while my values are still very similar they are prioritised differently, reflecting the learning derived from past experiences.

    Crazies – When I think about the things that drive me nuts or make me angry or frustrated, one in particular comes to mind and that’s people who feel the need to talk about others in a derogative way in their absence, yet when they are in their presence chose to be like their best friend. There are several of my values being stepped on in this instance, such as integrity, trust, truth and loyalty. I would find it very difficult to live with a person who behaves in a way that would be adverse to my values. I have learned that unless the people close to you have similar value systems then there will be lots of arguments and ill feeling.

    Invisible Values – Being true to my word is a very big part of who I am. If I tell someone I will do something then I must honour that. Of course there have been times when I have changed my mind about something but in the main, if I say I will do something than I will do it to the best of my ability. Interestingly enough, thinking about it now, people who make idle promises frustrate me also.

    Exercise 3 – UNIQUE ABILITIES

    Authentic, Compassionate, Effective Communicator, Empathic, Empowers others, Flexible, Generous, Inspiring to others, Independent, Loyal, Sincere, Spiritual, Supportive, Talented, Visionary

    Exercise 4 – Introductory Questions

    • If I won the lottery, I would firstly pay off my mortgage and become debt free and ensure that my children were looked after. I would then look into setting up a non for profit organisation to help others to heal in different ways. I often say my dream job would be to become a secret millionaire.
    • I love the water, yet get scared if I’m too long out at sea without being on land. I would do a transatlantic crossing on a cruise liner that stayed at sea for over a week without docking. That’s something that I have wanted to do.
    • Activities that have given me the greatest feeling of achievement apart from having my children, was when one of the training programmes I developed was published, being asked to become part of the consultancy team taking the EU Commissioner through the challenge of change, watching my daughter graduate, teaching spiritual development and watching students grow and develop on their spiritual path, seeing my family happy and content, being able to walk away from the option of acquiring a lot of money to be true to myself.
    • Something I would do if I thought I couldn’t fail would be to set up an international school to enable people to transform their lives, become really self- aware, develop spiritually and gain an internationally recognised professional qualification in Wholeness & Healing
    • The three most important goals in my life right now are to, work on becoming healthier and fitter, do things to bring more fun and like-minded people into my life and expand my career opportunities
    • The one thing I want to do which I keep putting off is to complete a doctorate in the metaphysical area.
    • If my life was perfect in every way, the balance wheel would should 10 in each area.
    • To live the life that I want, I need to step into my power more, release all fears and just be me
    • If I was to stand in front of a fountain and throw a coin in, I would wish for to be very healthy, happy, successful while maintaining peace of mind
    • When I catch the wave, all the stress life carries will have totally diminished and I will be living as per the last answer
    • I am tolerating situations created in the past but moving forward in sorting same out
    • I would like more fun and laughter in my life. Also more clients and to meet more like minded people
    • I don’t want any more stress related ailments
    • I would like less pressure from those who want me to succeed, to take their opinions and choices on board
    • I don’t want less time with my family, joy, fun, or work

    Exercise 5 – Primary Focus. If I were a client, my primary focus would be to work on bringing more balance and abundance into my life – Health & Fitness, Fun/Recreation and Career

  16. 1. Balance Wheel

    What did you notice from the wheel?
    Even though my life is fairly balanced, there are still small areas that need tweaking.
    How fulfilled is your life right now?
    Even though I’m now aware that I need to pay some attention to a couple of areas of my life, I do strongly believe that I generally lead a fulfilled and happy life.
    So where are you out of balance?
    I need to pay attention to the health and fitness and money areas in my life. There are also a couple of personal projects that I would like to find time to complete, which I suppose would fall within the Fun and Recreation wedge.
    What do you want to change?
    More action, less thinking.
    How satisfied are you with your current state of balance?
    There are a few areas that need tweaking. I know that I usually have more energy both mentally and physically when my health and fitness, also money is under control.
    How do you prioritise these wedges?
    Family and Friends
    Health and Fitness
    Fun and Recreation
    Love and Romance
    Personal Growth
    Money
    Physical Environment
    Career

    How would your life be different if you had 100% in all wedges?
    I believe I would be healthier, more content, and would have more time to devote to personal projects.
    Which of these wedges requires immediate attention?
    Health and Fitness – As I usually have more energy both mentally and physically when I have control over my meal planning, this would in turn give me more control over money and budgeting.
    What actions could improve some of the scores?
    I could make a healthy meal plan for the week and complete my shopping list to coincide with what I actually need, rather than be tempted by treats and special offers whilst shopping.
    How would your life be different if you created a single change that created more balance?
    I would feel more in control and more content.
    If this wedge were to be the right size how would your life be different?
    If the health and fitness wedge was the right size this would have a knock on effect on the other out of balance wedges. In gaining control over planning healthy meals for the week I would be able to budget my money better, eliminate time spent browsing in the shops and gain time to spend on personal projects.
    How would it enhance what is going on in your life?
    I would be more relaxed and have more free time to spend watching movies with the family in the evenings, rather than catching up around the house.
    Which wedge has the greatest leverage?
    Health and Fitness
    Is there anything you can add?
    By taking action in just one area of my life there seems to be a positive snowball effect which would enhance other areas of my life.

    2. Values

    What is important to you? – my family member’s and friend’s health and happiness
    What do you care about? – spending quality time with my family, my pets and my friends.
    What do you want to do in your life? – have sufficient money to live a contented family life with room for personal growth.
    Peak Experiences? A couple of years ago, I followed a low sugar diet for 6 weeks. The experience reinforced my self-belief that if sufficiently motivated I can display a strength in will-power. I also learned that generally the more restrictions imposed on myself the greater the cravings (eg. food, money, time…). I now believe that being mindful and having a positive and balanced focus on life is essential to contentment.
    Crazies? – seeking revenge, harbouring resentment, negativity, ineffective communications, people who don’t keep their word, lack of respect and lack of integrity.
    What is so much a part of who you are that you haven’t even thought to put it on the list?
    Personal drive, a fierce determination to reach conclusions and fairness, respectfulness and keeping my word.

    3. Unique Abilities
    Positivity, enthusiasm, commitment, determination, perseverance, attention to detail, tidy and organised, willing, polite, loyal, respectful, responsible, empathetic, spiritual, supportive, practical.

    4. Introductory Questions
    What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow? After you have taken a break!
    I would gift family and friends and in particular I would give a sizeable donation to a neighbour whose husband has a debilitating illness and desperately needs the chance of a more comfortable life. I would donate to selected charities and travel the world.
    What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?
    Learn to play the guitar.
    What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    Gaining my degree, completing a charity run, getting married and the birth of my children.
    What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    Take another degree, become prime minister, audition for xfactor
    What are your 3 most important goals in life right now?
    To complete my coaching and NLP course, to increase my savings, and improve my time management
    What is the one thing you have always wanted to do but keep managing to put it off?
    Family tree research
    If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too, what would it look like?
    Family health and happiness, success in life for children, financial freedom, contentment.
    Who do you need to be to live the life you want?
    More confident and focussed
    If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?
    An infinite number of wishes! Or perhaps one of the following: financial freedom, health, happiness and purpose in life for me and my family and friends.
    What will it be like when you catch the wave?
    Financial freedom, holiday home in the sun, peaceful, content and stress-free living.
    What are you tolerating?
    The physical and mental effects of ageing.
    What do you want more of in your life?
    Time, money, satisfaction, contentment, happiness, self-confidence, clarity of thought, quality family time
    What don’t you want more of?
    Stress, unrewarding time-consuming activities, illness,
    What do you want less of?
    Unrewarding time-consuming activities, illness,

    What don’t you want less of?
    Happiness, contentment, money, quality family time, personal time,

    5. Primary Focus
    Please identify the areas that you would want held as your main focus if you were the client.
    • More action and less thinking about action
    • Time and money management
    • Healthy living
    • Having fun

  17. 1. Balance wheel
    a)
    What I noticed from a balance wheel is that it would be a bumpy ride!It’s all about the balance,art of balancing different areas of life.
    b)
    I’d like to give more focus to the career and money area and there is also a room/potential for personal growth.Career/money ‘imbalance’ doesn’t come as a surprise as I recently quit my 5 year job and setting off on a new venture of creating my own business/practice.
    I get a lot of satisfaction in my life from my family and friends,love,health and fitness,fun and recreation and must admit would like some change in the physical enviroment too.
    If I had 100% in all of the wedges I’d be living a dream!!!!
    Career and money require immediate attention as that would add more balance in my life.In saying so,more concentrated effort,focus and time dedicated to developing my business plan into the detail.Promoting myself and work I do and making myself stand out would have the greatest leverage in achieving more balance.

    Values
    What is important to me?
    My family and friends,health,inner strength and peace,my new career,education
    What do you care about?
    Helping others discover their true potential,energy medicine/intuitive healing,making my family happy and spending more time re-connecting with my inner child,The Enviroment,healthy lifestyle…
    What do you want in life?
    Growth in my career and business,expansion,to reach out to as many people as possible and have a consistent flow of money to live comfortably doing what I love.

    Peak experiences
    Starting a job in a macrobiotic centre to finance my trip to India at the time I was a student and broke.It didn’t take me to India as I hoped it would but rather set me off on a journey to myself.I dedicated my whole being to learning a discipline of personal ecology.the important thing about this experience was that it enabled the growth of the talents I wasn’t even aware of.

    Crazies
    Lies,double standards,arrogance,manipulators of any kind.Have very little or no tolerance to these.

    Invisible values
    Intuition

    Unique abilities
    Happy,helpful,open minded,honest,creative,strong,compassionate,trustful,spiritual,easy going,sense of humor,versatile
    From the list- authentic,adapts well,listens,supportive,aware,conscious,dynamic,empowers,generous,practical,sensual,visonary,tidy,expressive

    Introductory questions

    1. If I won the lottery I would make sure all my family were financialy secured,donate money to charities (children,homeless people,elderly),invest the money in continuing professional development and travel to places I’ve never been to but always dreamed of going to.
    I always wanted to sing professionaly (It sounds funny to me now)
    2. Time with my family and work
    3. If I couldn’t fail I’d live every day of my life to it’s fullest.
    4. My new business,financial stability/security,harmonious family life
    5. Swimming with the dolphins
    6. It would look like living a dream
    7. Courageous and determined
    8. I’d wish for the health and happiness of all
    9. Unstopable
    10. Rude people
    11. Balance,happiness,peace of mind,personal space
    12. Stress
    13. Feeling stuck and frustration
    14. Me time

    Primary focus

    1. Wellbeing/health (my and of my family)
    2. Building new business (start,growth/expansion,success)
    3. Continued professional development
    4. Follow my heart/gut/instinct

  18. Career 7
    Money 5
    Health/Fitness 8
    Friends/Family 6
    Love/Romance 4
    Personal Growth 8
    Fun/Recreation 6
    Physical Environment 5

    b) Referring to your Balance Wheel, please answer the following questions:
    • What did you notice from the wheel?
    That my out-of-work scores are now off kilter

    • How fulfilled is your life right now?
    It’s good I think but there are obvious areas that could be better

    • So where are you out of balance?
    Home and social

    • What do you want to change?
    I need to find more time to nurture some relationships

    • How satisfied are with your current state of balance?
    I feel OK but I have been feeling that the work/life balance is uneven recently

    • How do you prioritise these wedges?
    I would begin by trying to improve the lowest scores first – I can’t say one category takes precedence over any others really as I need them all.

    • How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges?
    In that unlikely event, I would presumably have enough money to pack in work!

    • Which of these wedges requires immediate attention?
    My physical environment

    • What actions could improve some of the scores?
    Well, I either wait for the people who are supposed to be helping me to that end already or somehow find a way to get more time and do it myself.

    • How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance?
    One single change would be to be able to afford to work less and then I could pay more attention to other areas

    • If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different?
    I would feel less pressured, less stressed, have fewer concerns, feel more content and relaxed

    • How would it enhance what is going on in your life?
    That would presumably make me less snippy and better able to cope so everyone would benefit

    • Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)?
    Currently, though loathe to say it, it’s money. I am ok, but need a bit more at the minute to be able to do what I need to do, so am taking more and more work on.

    • Is there anything you can add?
    Not really. I already feel like I’m harping on about the one thing I can’t get past that is having the knock-on effect on everything else.

    2) Values
    Create a list of your Values by answering the questions and thinking about the ideas below:

    A few months ago when I did the wheel, it was clear that my values were mostly met outside of my workplace by the activities that I chose to do and the actions I took. When it came to my work life, things were slightly different.
    My most closely held values of Health, Security, Fulfilment, Peacefulness, Stimulation, Excitement, Relaxation and Selflessness just didn’t seem relevant in my workplace setting. I wouldn’t say that my values are at odds with those of my workplace, but that they differed.
    Our unit has core values that are neatly summed up in this short passage that is pinned on the office wall of each ward:
    “We aim to provide a holistic environment where people are accepted and feel valued and safe. They are empowered to achieve their full potential, enabling their quality of life to be enhanced”.
    It means that we need to be organised, non-judgemental, congruent, respectful and display integrity and consistency of care.
    Whilst keeping these work values means that I was meeting my own value of selflessness (arguably, because I do get paid for my time), it met very little else.
    My working day does not aid my health in that it can be fairly sedentary but also sometimes pressurised so did nothing for my values of peacefulness or relaxation.
    The job was constantly threatened due to closures, budget cuts and role changes, which didn’t meet my values of security or fulfilment. And, because it was mainly just ‘firefighting’ or planning a course of action and then changing it all again a few months later, I was rarely stimulated or excited by the job.
    The average person, presumably, doesn’t come to work to find peace and relaxation or to meet their health needs though, so I felt I had to strike them from my list of ‘values at work’.
    I felt that if I could find my source of stimulation again at work that it would follow that excitement and fulfilment might make a reappearance. And if that happened, it was possible that I could stretch myself further – by doing courses to better my role or improve my job options possibly or simply by showing more integrity – and regain the value of security in the workplace setting.
    So, I endeavoured to ‘rectify’ matters. I did some courses, adjusted some relationships, threw myself into the new service reconfiguration, incorporated more physical fitness into they day and things seemed to settle and improve at work. However, looking at the wheel I’ve just completed, it may be that it’s been to the detriment of my home life.
    Now I’m enjoying myself at work more, being at home can feel like the chore sometimes. It may be that I’m exhausting myself at work and so I’m drained and lacking in patience when I’m home so relationships, the physical environment and the ‘fun’ there are depleted.

    I also think that perhaps because I’m putting so much effort in at work, it can often seem that those in my household don’t appreciate that or help out as much as I’d like/need them too now so resentment has set in, which presumably erodes the relationships further.

    3) Unique Abilities
    Start making a list of all the life skills that you possess.
    Next, look at the list provided on the next page. Notice any abilities that you might have overlooked. Choose ten to fifteen words from the list that stand out as your unique abilities.

    Capable, committed, disciplined, empathetic, energetic, enthusiastic, expressive, facilitates, independent, knowledgeable, listens, open-minded, optimistic, proactive, problem-solver.

    4) Introductory Questions
    Please answer the following questions:

    1. What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow?
    I’d help my son kickstart his career and then take my daughter travelling.

    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt?
    To go it alone

    3. What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    Having my kids.

    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    Expand

    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?
    Expanding!
    Renovating the house
    Feeling more fulfilled

    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off?
    Visiting a particular place

    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?
    I would be working from my own home, the kids would be content and home/social aspect more consistent

    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?
    Partner, kids, friends

    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for?
    Continued health and happiness for me, my friends and my family.

    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave?
    Very busy initially! And then I can calm it down and fulfil all I want to be for myself and my children

    11. What are you tolerating?
    People’s thoughtlessness and foot-dragging

    12. What do you want more of in your life?
    Forward momentum

    13. What don’t you want more of?
    Bad stress

    14. What do you want less of?
    Frustration

    15. What don’t you want less of?
    Understanding

    5) Primary Focus
    Please identify the areas that you would want held as your main focus if you were a client.

    1) I feel things are moving too slowly and it’s making me impatient
    2) I feel like I’m spinning too many plates alone
    3) I can do everything myself, but there aren’t enough hours in the day so I sometimes need help
    4) All of the above can make me feel tired, demoralised and resentful

  19. Session 4
    Money -7, Health and fitness-6, Friends and family-5, Love-1, Personal growth-4, Fun-5, Physical environment-8
    Balance Wheel
    b) Referring to your Balance Wheel, please answer the following questions:
    What did you notice from the wheel? This seemed to be quite clear in terms of how I am progressing in the various areas of my life. The one area that seems to be under 5 was the love and romance section, so I need to work a little more on this.
    How fulfilled is your life right now? Although my life is not totally fulfilled I recognised that I am a work in progress so don’t get too anxious about where my life is right now. I am growing in each section at different pace so won’t beat myself up if one area is more advance than others.
    So where are you out of balance? As outlined my love and romance section is the lowest in terms of the scale so I need to spend a little more time on this.
    What do you want to change? I won’t change anything but will look to spend more time on all the areas.
    How satisfied are with your current state of balance? I’m quite satisfied with my balance.
    How do you prioritise these wedges? I spend time on each section as the issue arise for example I am spending more time on my career by completing this on-line course which will further develop my skills.
    How would your life be different if you had 100% in all of the wedges? I would have a very happy and complete life.
    Which of these wedges requires immediate attention? I’m focussing on my career and health at present.
    What actions could improve some of the scores? I should consider focussing on more areas but I can comfortably focus on two at a time, when I can I will look at different areas.
    How would your life be different if you created a single change that would give more balance? I think if I focussed on my romance and love section this would change my life in that I would have someone in my life that is supportive.
    If this wedge were to be the right size, how would your life be different? I would have a more balanced life.
    How would it enhance what is going on in your life? My life would be more enhanced and balanced which would bring me closer to its being 100%
    Which wedge has the greatest leverage (big effect)? I think due to my trust issues focussing on my love and romance area would be a big deal, I am comfortable not to deal with this area at the present time.
    Is there anything you can add? This exercise has been great for me to spend some time reflecting on where my life is presently.
    2) Values
    My values includes honesty, kindness, truth, understanding, being real, and affection, love, trustworthy, happy, funny, and ethical with morals that is able to stand up and speak when no one else does, to be able to think outside the box a leader not a follower with positive independent thoughts. I am very spiritual and see this as a high value.
    I want to offer something back to society to treat the world I live in with respect to look after others and support them wherever I can.
    I get sad when I see people clearly lying or telling stories that are not true. I don’t like when people try to be your friend when they are in it for alternative reasons. I hate injustices in the world. I don’t like following the crowd just to be popular, I’d rather people be true to themselves, maintaining their morals and values and be unpopular than to be popular with no values or ethics.
    3) Unique Abilities
    Start making a list of all the life skills that you possess.
    Carer, mum, sister friend, accounting, administrative, cooking, basic nursing, first aid, counselling, housekeeping, time management, events organising, conference and banqueting, cleaning, child care, project management, community development, teacher, singer, musician, communicator.
    Next, look at the list provided on the next page. Notice any abilities that you might have overlooked. Choose ten to fifteen words from the list that stand out as your unique abilities.
    Attentive, capable, committed, dynamic, empathic, energetic, generous, happy, intelligent, inspiring to others, problem solving, resourceful, sense of humour, self reliant, strong.
    4) Introductory Questions
    What would you do and how would you change your life if you won the lottery tomorrow – after you have taken a break!
    I’d had a big party for all my family and friends, go on a holiday of a lifetime, I would build and invest in large ethical organisations. I would pay off all my family member’s mortgages and immediate bills. I would establish my own charity to help women and children in poverty. I would set up my own training company and become a motivational speaker.
    2. What have you always wanted to do in life but been afraid to attempt? I have a bucket list of fifty things, included on this list is learning to swim, ski and sing and I am working on these. I also want to own a holistic and training company. I plan to visit all seven continents in the world. Some of the reason why I have not completed my list is due to fear but this is an area that I am presently working on.
    3 What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feelings of achievement?
    Growing up I believed that I wouldn’t get far in my life so having gone to university and achieving my degree. I have a child who I am extremely proud of he is now a man of integrity and honesty. I raised him single handed worried that I would fail him as I did not belief in myself but I am so proud that we did it. I feel after such a difficult start in life my situation at present is over and above my early expectations
    4. What would you do if you couldn’t fail?
    I would achieve everything that is on my wish list which includes tropical holidays, working with charities, opening orphanages, travelling the world and sharing my wealth. I’d be a mentor, counsellor, coach, trainer also to develop my spirituality.
    5. What are your three most important goals in life right now?
    My goal at present is to build my personal development company, work on my health and well-being and to love and expand my family and friendship group.
    6. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and somehow keep managing to put off? I have been developing and building my CPD business for a long time and still struggle to do this; I’m at a place now where it is makes or break time.
    7. If your life was perfect in every respect and you were too what would it look like?
    I’d be happy and well doing work that I enjoyed every day.
    8. Who do you need to be to live the life that you want? Oprah Winfrey No really I like being myself I just need to belief more in who I am and what I have to offer the world.
    9. If you were standing in front of a fountain and threw a coin in what would you wish for? I would wish for the extinction of poverty, hunger, homelessness and disease such as cancer.
    10. What will it be like when you catch the wave? When I catch the wave it will be fantastic, exhilarating, awe inspiring self-actualised and busy.
    11. What are you tolerating? Procrastination and mediocrity
    12. What do you want more of in your life? Compassion, understanding, love, time and success
    13. What don’t you want more of? Negative thoughts, pettiness, worry and fear
    14. What do you want less of? Barriers that stops me from moving forwards, frustration and mistrust
    15. What don’t you want less of? Love, understanding and compassion, money
    5) Primary Focus: Please identify the areas that you would want held as your main focus if you were a client.
    1) Career
    2) Time management
    3) Health and well-being
    4) Personal Growth

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